Episode Transcript
My name is Ken Hanuman, and this is my wife, Dr. Anne O'Hare. We both work in healthcare and have been meditating for many years. We also enjoy a happy and fulfilling marriage. Come, listen, and see how to demystify spirituality and bring it into your home, your hearts, and in all your relationships. We will share our experiences and how we use these principles in everyday life. Welcome to the spiritual relationship. Hello everyone, welcome to the Spiritual Relationship Podcast. My name is Ken Hanuman and my wife, Anne O'Hare. She, both of us, we are, we are medical professionals, we're in healthcare, and also we have many years of meditation, experience, and the real purpose of this podcast is about using spiritual values in everyday life. and we'll share our own life experience. So I hope, maybe you can, you can use some of it. Today's topic is cooperation. This whole, this word cooperation, it seems to remove the self because it involves many others, which means that It is a quality of love. Maybe it's the essence of love. Because it calls for some amount of, adjustment on your part. To be able to interact with others in a way that everybody benefits or the goal is achieved. It's more like goal orientation. And when the goal is achieved as a team or as a family, then everybody benefits. So we could see. how it is a spiritual value. So I'm going to share some, some examples in my life and Anne will also share, so I would ask her to, if she has something to add to that. Yeah, we were, we were discussing, cooperation and I think, and Ken was agreeing with me, that cooperation is the most elevated spiritual power. And you could also call it a spiritual awareness or a stage, but it's a, it's a, it's the most elevated and I think because it requires the most purity of heart and the most, if you want to say sacrifice of something which we're going to talk about in the examples. Because in order to be cooperative or truly loving, we need to remove selfishness. We need to remove desires. We need to look at ourselves and take care of ourselves. And that's where the interesting thing comes. Like Ken was saying, it's like other focus, but it's really yourself too, because I'm part of it. I'm part of this landscape. So when I become more pure of heart and I become more myself like authentic then I show up totally different So let's so share the experience at work because he did a really good job with this at work. Yeah, well I've been I've been working at this job for about 20 years and for the last 10 I was moved to a different. I moved to a different facility And they were opening up a new department You And I had some seniority, so I had the aim that I would probably be the head of the department. But I guess that was not That's not what the supervisor had in mind, maybe. Anyhow, we worked hard, we got everything going, and everything went well. You know, it was a team and everybody got along like a family, you know, which was great. And the time came to find a manager for that apartment and they brought somebody from outside. I knew the person anyhow, but they brought somebody from outside, not from within. And, it was fine, you know, we worked with that or whatever. Yeah. But then eventually I realized that if anybody got a promotion in front of me, then I begin to have some real bad feelings about that. And all kinds of thoughts will come to your head and you're beginning to think, You know, do I belong here? Or, all kinds of thoughts. I don't even want to mention them. You would probably know what happens at work and the competition that goes along with that. But then I decided, let me use some, let me apply something here. Let me say, okay, first of all, I like this job. I'm good at it. Two, money is, my salary is coming As it should. Nobody's messing around with that. So the other part, I said, let me now give up the desire for that position. Let me focus on doing what I'm being paid to do. And most of all, let me give cooperation. Let me interact with others in a way that I can make their life a little better. You know, I don't have to be a savior. I just have to pay a little attention of, being aware that somebody might need help or they, they need support or something like that. And I did that for the, for many years. And eventually that desire went away completely. All those ill feelings went away. And the relationship really worked out so well. That even now that I'm retired, I left there knowing that they had good feelings about me. I also have good memories, fond memories, and I realized what I gained from that was a personal satisfaction, was a feeling of no regret, um, a feeling that working with people is not about position and money. It's also about connection. And it's also about how you make somebody else feel. And, like people remember how you make them feel, not what you say to them. And that's a valuable lesson for me, and now that's the focus of my relationship with others. So I, I would say that's my experience of the power of cooperation. For me, my example was also at work and, I always wanted to be in leadership and I, there was a job that came up that I applied for. And this was so significant for me. This moment was so significant for me that whenever I share in these classes, I always share this because this was the biggest heartbreak ever. Everything that I, Thought about myself professionally was kind of on the line for this job. And when I didn't get it, I Was really really upset like for years I was devastated and At that time at work. I was not happy. I mean I was still good at it. This is what Ken, Ken didn't talk about this part of it, but you're still working. Maybe you can all relate to this. You're still working, you're putting on a brave face, but your heart is not happy, right? So maybe at that, in those moments, if my heart is not happy, maybe I'm not as fully cooperative as maybe I could be. And I've noticed there was one time where somebody at work actually talked to the boss. And said, you should give Anne something and the boss was like, no, now looking back. I know why, or at least I think I know why she said no, because my attitude was bad. If I come into work every day and think of how much, how unfair it is, how much I'm hurt, whatever, that's not a good attitude by any measure. Okay. So I think that was what happened. But. It all turned around. So what happened was I ended up getting another job and what I really wanted. See, I found out what I really wanted. And I don't know if you have this experience too. Like you just said, it's not just about work, it's about relationships. Right? And for you, that's kind of like what you left with. What I wanted was to be able to create a team or influence a team or be a leader of a group of people and have an influence. That's what I wanted. And guess what? It ended up happening in the job that I got. I don't have a title I don't have but what I had was a new department where I ended up training everybody I ended up being the most senior person or whatever and I actually got to create not just the the work, but also the way we interact. The way we deal with each other the way we care about each other and i'm very very proud of that. So for me Cooperation Is the highest. And in my job now, we all always say, this is the best job I ever had. We love the team. We're so happy. And each of us is able to express ourself and we're able to create something for the team or do process improvement or whatever. It's wide open. And one of the things that I did when I, trained everybody was that I trained them about the principle. And I said, you can do it however you want. But this is the principle and that gives freedom. Yeah, so I really feel proud And they're happy Yeah, so that's cooperation, right? Like I got to fulfill my pure desire like I would say your pure desire was to have good relationships, right? You could say that's what you said, right? So like and I got my pure desire and everybody's happy. Yeah, so that's cooperation and even when a family Same thing the the Each personality would have certain desires or a need for a certain amount of self expression or whatever. And I should be careful not to, not to imprison somebody with my directions and rules and my opinions. And I have to be allowing, I have to allow for everyone to, to bloom. And I think that's the best form of cooperation. So I see that with children. As they grow up, you have to change your relationship. As they get to a point where they're being, they're becoming more individuals. And, um, they're developing their own unique personality. You need to recognize that and step back a little bit and be available. You can't just be, Oh, I'm the boss. I'm the father. I'm the parent. I am, you can't do that. And spiritually too, in this, we're in a group. It's a big group. It, sometimes you can't think of getting a position or you're fighting. You're always in competition with others. Just be cooperative. And whatever, task, whatever task is at hand, it will, something will be there that will actually be right for you. And that happened with us too. With this podcast also and with the service that we're doing with our, with the spiritual organization that we belong to, we're, it seems like what's coming is exactly suited to you. You know? And so, maybe we can kind of end it with the, the principle again, the underlying principle. Cooperation is not necessarily just about you doing what's right for everybody physically, but it's really includes a self reflection, understanding of what's going on. Am I angry? Am I bitter? Am I upset? Am I controlling? Am I, like, what is my inner landscape? And can I begin to Let that go and be there with a pure heart, and even we didn't talk about this But sometimes if it's a job you're there for the money, maybe we have to be really clear About what it is. We're doing and one last thing when we were talking about this Cooperation You can Be yourself and you eventually the circumstances will change To make it look like what we want it to look like. But at first, maybe it isn't that way. And that's why cooperate means to be, do good within the circumstance. I'm not going to be angry. I'm not going to be resentful. I'm not going to be what I, but I still have my own pure wish. You don't sacrifice yourself, your heart. You don't sacrifice your own heart. I believe that if I, if I'm in touch with my own feelings and in touch with my own heart, and that's, I'm being authentic and then I'm being cooperative, meaning I'm not going to be angry. I'm not going to know whatever. And I just do what's there for me to do. Eventually it will shift. And what I want and need and will show up and I've seen this time and time and time again. So not only am I being cooperative with the situation situation then becomes cooperative with me in the sense that I am now fulfilling I'm fulfilling my own heart. And in today's society, there are a lot of people who are complaining of being very lonely. And then sometimes they feel like they're afraid of, of interacting or afraid of getting hurt or whatever. Cooperation can allow you to interact but without this fear. Without the pressure, right? Without the pressure and the fear. Yeah, yeah. And do it without expecting, anything. And you'll find that gradually your heart opens up and then You that loneliness also goes away And also you don't have to create new circumstances. Everybody has circumstances just do it within the circumstance that you already have We don't have to create anything. It's already there. Cooperation could also mean being with what you already have. Yeah Yeah, you don't have to do anything extraordinary. No, it's the simple things In your own family in your own environment in your own community in your own church. I mean, it's in your own political group, wherever, you'll see it does a lot for your heart. It's the most powerful spiritual value, or it's the most elevated spiritual power, is cooperation. And it's based on the laws of karma. That's right. Thank you. Okay. So we'll finish there and we'll see you next time. All right. Bye bye everyone. Bye. When you walk into a room, life gets little sweeter. When I look at you, I see you are my, you are. My life. My life.
