Episode Transcript
My name is Ken Hanuman and this is my wife, Dr. Anne O'Hare. We both work in healthcare and have been meditating for many years. We also enjoy a happy and fulfilling marriage. Come, listen, and see how to demystify spirituality and bring it into your home, your hearts, and in all your relationships. We will share our experiences and how we use these principles in everyday life. Welcome to the spiritual relationship. Hello everyone, welcome to another episode in this podcast called the spiritual relationship. My name is Ken Hanuman and this is my wife and Dr. Anne O'Hare and the topic today is understanding the heart. When we speak of the heart we are referring to your emotional center and I would also like to say that it is the the core of your being from which You're in touch with your spiritual values living from the heart It it is It's like you're living You're in touch with authenticity you're in touch with your truth People would say things like the heart guides you, that you are living in a way that is not only for your own, upliftment. It is also about getting in touch with other people. So, with that, I would like to ask Anne to maybe share her understanding of what it is like to live from the heart. Yeah, um, my background was in kind of a externally focused lifestyle. So everything was always about what am I going to do? Are you excited about this? Are you excited about that? So growing up in that kind of an environment, like it's always externalized. What are you going to do? When are you going to go to school? When are you going to get married? What are you doing? Everything was always externalized. So the thought of living from the heart was like, not even on the agenda at all. It was all about what I could produce on the outside. Having said that my experience of living from the heart or what the heart means is it means me, it's my. Again, authentic, meaning that I am validating that it's me. Authentic means that it's me validating that it's me. That's what it means. Authentic. Like I am the authority over what I'm sharing. People might say being true to yourself. Exactly. True to yourself. So my heart means that I am aware of paying attention to and Kind of a friend of like, I'm behind myself or I'm validating myself. I'm, I'm trusting myself. I'm so the heart is the, is the core of the self. I would say the core feelings, the core thoughts, the closest that we have to the absolute truth of the self, I would say, and so that heart, Actually knows things, right? Like it just knows, like it's weird. It's, it doesn't need to be taught anything. It knows it. And you said something interesting and I'll leave, I'll let you go back to you, but you said something that when you get in touch with your own heart, you start getting in touch with others. So it's almost like when you say the heart, you're talking about yourself, but you're also talking about getting in touch with a level of awareness that others are in too. Because I can understand somebody else, too, if I'm at that level of awareness. Right. And, uh, I'm looking at, I'm looking at my life, and in the beginning, growing up as a child, teenager, I was pulled towards religion and study, Hindu, of scriptures. And, It seems as if that was a calling that I had. Anyhow, like you just mentioned, school, going to college, getting a job, trying to excel at that job. And raising a family. Raising a family. Yeah. Trying to accumulate a lot of, um, wealth, or as much as you can get. The drive to do that, and also to please, or to, to have the kind of personality that will make you successful in the world. was good, there's something you achieve from that, but there was always something deep down crying out for attention. Yeah, yeah. And I would like to say that will be your heart, because now, as I get to, you know, get past that materialistic, um, uh, adventure, I find myself now getting pulled right back. To trying to understand what the soul is, how, what is the mind? What is it that I truly want? Did I, was I really happy? And do I truly have love or compassion? Is there a potential within me for, uh, a better personality, being, uh, um, Someone that is helpful in the community. These are the calling that I have. Everybody might have their own desires, you know. In a relationship with, you have a wife or you have family. Everybody would also have their calling. Their own feelings and their own hopes and dreams, right? Their own aims. Yeah. That you would always that you used to live your life in a way to please other people. Yes But then was there a difference? Is there something else that you need rather than pleasing them? I don't I don't think I was in touch with my feelings or needs at all. I was like you were just describing the drive to achieve There's also the drive to please So you can have the drive to please or the drive to get along or the drive to be a good good wife, good daughter, good, whatever. We could call this ego. We could call this, what is it? What do they call it? Like programming. It's all fine because we all have to have it to function, right? But the heart exists. Independent of that. It actually exists independent of all of that. Like it knows, like you were saying. Even though all of that was going on, something was not right. There was something that wasn't so something independent of all that was trying to speak. Yeah. So what is that thing? We're talking, we're calling it understanding the heart. So what is it? I mean, does it mean that when I start paying attention to my heart, that I forget to go to my work and I forget to relate? No, it actually brings in the missing piece. I'm going to say. It's like the missing piece. Now you're incorporating, now you're bringing your true self into the mix. Yeah. You know, like on the job, I we were really driven to to excel and that and to be to be pretty good at what you do and things like that. But you go home and and suddenly you're feeling, geez, this is tiring. You know, I don't feel like I'm a better person in a way. Yes, I, you get a good salary and things like that. But, are you truly in touch with your heart? Are you ignoring it or are you doing something to, pay attention to it? Feel as, let it feel like, like that it's not being ignored, Could it be that sometimes maybe people feel like I don't want to pay attention to myself because all of this other stuff is so important, but why can't they both be important? Yeah, right. Why can't they both be important? Why can't I bring my feelings into the mix? Here's the thing. Create a safe environment where you can do that. That's, that's what I found, is that when I started, first of all, being in a relationship with you, very, very safe. Very, very safe, like totally safe. First time in my life, totally safe. You are not going to judge me. You're not going to take advantage of my weaknesses. You're not going to try to overpower me. You're in control of yourself. You're trying all the time, right? It's always, always a work in progress, but if the person's taking responsibility for themselves and they're not abusing you, that's a safe environment. So safety, when you get a safe environment, you could start trying to get in touch with that part that maybe wasn't being paid attention to. And the underlying spiritual principle is that for you to be sure that you are in touch with your heart, like you're understanding it or you're living from there, is to at least make a difference in somebody else's life. It doesn't have to be a whole big group of people. It can just be one, two in your family. That if you can ensure that that person is a better person, and that there's something in your heart that tells you the truth, like I said before. And if you know what is true, what is truly making you happy, truly really making your self worth, or self actualization, whatever word you want to use, you start feeling better about yourself. When you know what makes you feel better, and then you can listen to someone else so you can figure out, what can I do? And there is always a way to do that. To understand or you can even ask the person. Because then you start to care. You start to care for them. Like, that's like real caring. Yeah. And that goes against probably the values of the world where everybody is trying to get ahead, even though it means stepping over other people or maybe ignoring the feelings or the, the heart of another person. Or you're repressing your own feelings so that you can still do the outside stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It's, there's nothing good about enslaving another person to your wishes and desire. Somewhere along the line, I know how life is challenging and I know how things can take a toll, you know, but at some point there need to be, maybe relax that a little bit. Think about the, the, the one right next to you, the one that has been struggling with you. Uh, To achieve a certain level of, let's say, financial security or whatever. But at some point there has to be, what is it that you dreamed about when you were a child? And is there some way, that we could help each other? And I feel like, if you do that, that is what everybody wants out of a relationship. Such a powerful thing. We're moving into like something else here where like when you're in a relationship, like we were talking about, our relationship is a marriage. Okay. But we're also friends and we're also on a spiritual path, like a serious spiritual path and we're on the same one. So one thing I can offer is that a kind of a close relationship like this can be immensely helpful. And it, it amplifies your own self and you're helping the other person. And I'm going to say, maybe we can close after this, but I want to say that what Ken was just sharing, I can hear that it's coming from the male perspective. Like I can hear it, right? You can hear that it's coming from the male perspective. Like make sure you're helping someone else. Don't make it all about you. Make sure you're helping someone else. Because only then your intellect is absolutely sure. Yes, this actually works because you see it actually making a difference in someone else. And I want to say for women, it works like this. You have to love and trust and honor yourself for women. It's different. It's like, we're always taking care of everybody else. Like that's the natural thing. But we have to get, we have to learn how to be happy, how to be peaceful, how to be content. Who am I? Can I take care of myself? Like it's all about the self for the women, but I'll tell you, but that's okay for the men, right? It's okay. Men don't mind if you take care of yourself. They want you to take care of yourself, right? Because then they're getting the benefit of that too. So it's a little bit different from the male and female. So if I'm not taking care of myself. It's not good karma. And if on the male side, if you're not helping other people, it's not good karma. So, but what's so beautiful is that it actually does work together. Yeah, it does work together. If each side is trying to take care of themselves and be aware of others, and that's living from the heart, I would say to like, it's authentic. You're living like a real, you're living real. And, and in my relationship with God, God doesn't necessarily have to be a, a religion from a religion to me. God means a being that loves me fully. He knows me and loves me, uh, in, in such a way that all his only desire is for me to feel, good about myself for me to. Live from the heart in a way that it can make the difference in other people's lives. He doesn't want anything else from me. So I have this kind of a relationship. I don't ask for anything physical. I just want to be a better person. Yeah. And I kind of love Him for that because somehow this relationship, it's more about I can only know what is love if I experience it. For myself first and then God. And when I begin to understand the power in love How his love transformed me and how my love for myself transformed me. So I really don't think it's so much about loving and and following blindly anything It's more about understanding the power of love And from that are the virtues and that is what is meant by spirituality And it's also the heart. It's also coming from the heart. Wonderful. Okay. So let's leave it there. And, hopefully this gave you a little something to think about, about maybe taking a look at, am I aware of my own thoughts and feelings? Am I, what is my relationship with God? Or do I have a religious practice? Do I have a spiritual practice? Because that's one thought came just last thing you said God is in touch with our heart. There's a there's a word in hinduism "Dilaram" Which means the comforter of hearts. Yeah, so one of the one of the titles that God has is that He is the comforter of hearts in it And if you do believe in God or you do believe in the higher power or something, it's a very Individual unique very intimate kind of experience. So That also touches the heart Wonderful. So let's end there and until next time, thanks everyone. Bye bye. Bye bye. When you walk into a room, life gets little sweeter. When I look at you, I see you are my, you are. My life. My life. My life.
