Episode Transcript
My name is Ken Hanuman and I've been practicing Raja Yoga meditation for over 40 years. In these episodes, I will share the experiences and insights I've gained from meditation and how I've integrated them into my everyday life and all my relationships. Welcome to the Spiritual Relationship Podcast. Hello everyone. Thank you for joining me on the Spiritual Relationship Podcast. My name is Ken Hanuman and I'm your host. Today we'll talk about the spiritual power of tolerance. Anybody, anybody that we consider spiritual or saintly. They seem to have, um, a high degree of tolerance and, you know, they don't fight back or no, they can tolerate and we admire that quality in them. But that's not how many people in the world really. I mean, they don't see it as a virtue sometimes, you know, they look at it differently. You know, many people have the faulty understanding. The power of tolerance. Some see it as patronizing attitude in which one person puts his or herself in a superior position to another person in a situation. Tolerance cannot really flourish when there's superiority in inferiority. You know, situation arrogance makes, uh. One person think that they're better than the, the, the other person believing that they know the right way, that they may tolerate other person rather than openly come into conflict with them. You know, that they, they put up with, with abuse sometimes and that's, that is really not spiritual. That is the problem with people understanding tolerance as a spiritual power because it just doesn't seem right. Because the other part of it is a submissive position. You know, you have one that is arrogant and then the other one might be submiss. Thing, but that also is not spiritual to be. It is all unhelpful. Some people tend to tolerate the anger or the bad behavior of others and they keep quiet and sort of within you there's a pressure building up, you know, like a pressure cooker. It's building up. There's a kind of a resentment inside. You're swallowing every reaction and, and you feel like, you know, how long can I put up with this? So as you can see, if one person's arrogant, if the other person is, is not, um, being helped, then it's not a virtue. So that's not what we're talking about when we talk about the power of tolerance. So today, the way we are relating to the power of tolerance is like we would like to reach a state where I could be neutral and just allow things to be, whether they suit me or not, right? Things are happening in the world. We don't have control over so many things that are going on. So why not allow them things. Sort of stay beyond, kind of be detached and loving and learn. Allow things, all things or everyone, right, all things, everyone. They have a right to exist and express themselves. When I'm rooted in my own original state of self-awareness, when I know my part within this unlimited play of life. And get on with it, then I can make space for others to play their part too. You see, we live in a world where we tend to be looking at others. We look at each other, we judge people, we compare her to them. Um, we are constantly maybe criticizing or either them while we're criticizing ourself. I think it's a law of karma that stays. If you're judging others, you're also judging yourself. If you're critical and you wanna control everything, and you get angry and upset because things are not the way you want 'em to be, then in a way you also do that to yourself inside. There's a kind of dissatisfaction, discomfort, or you're never satisfied with who you are. So you could see the vice, how it works on the outside. It doesn't spare you. It's like anger. You know, getting angry and upset, thinking you're harming somebody by shouting and screaming and correcting and whatever. When in actual fact you are the one that is suffering the most, um, something might happen and you feel that. You have an interaction with someone, right? You said what you had to say. I think, but the thing is that later on you remember it, you relive it, then you start to suffer this again. You feel the upset or you feel the insult, or you feel the hurt, right? So who's hurting more? So this is why the power of tolerance is more about being neutral and allowing. Being able to be detached and loving, allowing, um, others to play their part. Remember, you need to have to be in your original state of self-awareness. If you look at the word self-awareness, what it actually means that I'm really not that focused on the outside. I'm actually looking at the self and I can see what my thoughts are, what my feelings, my reactions, my attitudes, and I can ask myself, is it making me better? Am I happy? Am I in control or is it that my thoughts go off on its own? Like I start overthinking lots of negative emotions and I'm losing control. So in that case, I'm not enjoying myself. And usually emotions are what, how I define emotion. It's an emotion is a reaction to something that is happening on the outside. So you get angry because something is not going your way. You feel fair when you have no control. Um, but inside when I am, when I am more self-aware and I know who I am and I can sort of, I have this power to withdraw from the world and enjoy that or, or contemplate and have a relationship. The being who is the ocean of peace, the ocean of love. If you wanna say in that bubble or in, in that stage, you are in control of your emotions. Your bodies calm, your mind is calm, and you are, you can then think clearly when a mind is in a positive state, you know? So tolerance is more about. It's more about allowing, we have a, there's an image, a picture of a tree that is filled with fruits. And a little boy is taking his stick and trying to beat, um, to get the mangoes, you know, by hitting the branches. And it feels as if. The tree is giving even though it is being beaten, and that is probably a good maybe one picture, one, one image of what tolerance is that in spite of the insult that is coming from outside, I still don't move away from my original nature. I don't allow the in to be influenced by the outside. I am very strong. I'm very stable inside, and I am not interfering. I'm giving others space and I'm protecting my space. So it's mutually when I protect my space in a way, I'm teaching others how they can also do that. It's really something to think about that you can. Tolerance can be a power because it prevents you from overreacting, from descending into an impulsive negative behavior that can cause harm in a relationship. Tolerance allows, um, that others, even though they make mistakes, you're not gonna convict them. You're not gonna discard them. But you try to provide an example by which they might, even though they might not be open to your advice, your example of tolerance can give them an option, a choice. And maybe that's their way of overcoming that behavior, that arrogance. And, and this is how we help others. You know, we don't just help people by giving them advice or trying to prove a point or argue, no. You can also teach by your own example. So on one hand, as you use it, you becoming more very good at this at being tolerant as being in control of your words and your reactions. And that builds confidence that you can manage any relationship. Any relationship, you probably know when to set up boundaries. You know when to say something, you are listening, you don't have anything to prove. So your mind is calm and therefore you can read others easier. So tolerance is, is, uh, is a spiritual power. It's, it's not just about enduring. Enduring other people's bad behavior or insults or something like that, you know? So tolerance is about creating a space for quality interaction with others. Quality is a result of equality. Like when you feel equal with others, you're not lesser than anyone, you're not greater than anyone. But there is equality and what comes from that is quality energy or quality words and examples, right? We need to understand that all beings have an innate good quality and that each one of us have an eternal part to play, which we must express in our own unique way. When we develop this equality of vision, we will respect, accept, and appreciate the existence of others. This uncluttered coming together with each other. It compliments differences. 'cause we're not all the same, right? I mean it's not two people who are the same and maybe that's the beauty of life. There's the variety. It is actually makes the world more interesting. And if you you are feeling secure within yourself, you would appreciate that and you will enjoy relationships better. The most important relationship is a relationship you have with yourself. Never allow yourself to descend into self-criticism or to a point where. The more you feel negative about yourself, the more you, you feel that you have no hope or no energy or no courage. This is worse than somebody insulting you or, or causing you because it changes your behavior and, um, you don't, you lack the perseverance or the resilience. So the power to tolerate helps us to grow. And so look at it that way. One guideline or one law you say that we follow is like, don't give sorrow and don't take sorrow. So keep that in mind in your meditation. Think about this more deeply and see where rather than getting upset and getting annoyed and angry and upset, or becoming scared, try to see what you can change. Every day gives you an opportunity to practice a power and to change. Change little things in a relationship, relationship with parents, relationship with friends, with people at school or work. Change something. Maybe it can just be the words you use. Maybe it can just be an attitude. It could be the way I cooperate with others. Um, the way I set up boundaries, the way I protect my peace or my dignity. You know, you have an integrity. You have integrity. These things, very, the, even though they're tiny things you do on a daily basis, they accumulate. And the beautiful thing about change is that. You're not changing one thing, like you might focus on anger or, or fear or anxiety, but any victory or any, empowerment or solution that you come up with, it'll help you with all the other vices. And you'll also be able to recognize some of the values that you probably grew up with actually was causing you sorrow and maybe you need to change that. Because the most important thing is that is your happiness and your peace. You should always have high self-esteem and be happy and you can have that when you have a good relationship with with God, you know? So. With that, I'll um, think about that. Think about it. I'll close for today and as usual, I keep reminding you that if you would like to practice meditation at home, we have free online Zoom classes and also meditation commentary, and the links are fun in the description below. So please practice. Remember, peace is your nature. Protect it. Thank you for listening. See you in the next episode. When you walk into a room, life gets little, you. You.
